Amazon is on a roll. Just a few weeks after the drone-delivery demo that took the technology world by storm, the retailer is in the news again for drones – but this tine, the drones will reportedly deliver profits, not your orders. “For a long time, we have wanted to do something that is very unusual for Amazon. What could be a better choice than delivering profits?” the leaked press release from Amazon quoted Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos as saying. “The markets just wouldn’t move away from boring issues like profit to more interesting stuff like how we can read your thoughts and deliver what you want at the lowest possible price. So we decided to innovate and solve that problem once and for all” a beaming Mr.Bezos said. Recently, Amazon had renamed their ‘Earnings Call’ To ‘Revenue Call’.

The profit delivery drone will deliver dollar bills to Amazon shareholders based on a next-generation random number generator. The envelopes would be sealed, and would have the word ‘Profit’ written over them in bold. The drone is also programmed to announce its arrival by repeating the phrase ‘finally,finally, finally’ until either the recipient picks up the envelope or Jeff Bezos announces a new long-term initiative.