Here is a scoop that would make Kara Swisher cry with envy: SVChronicle has managed to obtain the transcript of this week’s Bitcoin pricing call, reproduced in its entirety below.

Jim: “Hello everyone ! This is Jim from the FBI conference room. We’ll be starting in a few minutes”

[few beeps]

Jim: “Let us do a quick roll call. On the phone we have Fred, Chamath, Naval, Balaji. We’ll wait for the Winklevoss twins and a few other VCs I guess – Fred you need to help us drive this, we are just a couple of weeks into this stuff really. Also right now we are like ‘Coins but No Coins’. Anyone representing Kutcher or Max?”

Fred Wilson: “Don’t think so. I thought it was the Twins’ turn this time. Anyways, Thanks Jim. I have a couple of west coast VCs joining us on this call. And obviously Rick as well”

[Twin Beeps]: Winklevosses: “Hello all, this is Cameron and Tylor, apologies we got delayed. Just got off the call with our lawyers and PR to see if there is a way we can be in the news again related to Facebook”

Chamath (speaking to someone else): “Although our fund is named Social Capital, we don’t invest in Social. We named it that way so that we could raise money.”

Balaji: “Chamath, can you go on mute please”

[More beeps]

Fred Wilson: “Alright. We have everyone. Agenda remains the same – let us just decide on a range for this week and be done with it. Jim, have you guys figured out the silk road stuff yet?”

Jim: Not yet.

Naval: “Cameron and Tylor, you guys pulled out some cash this week?”

Chamath: “That was me. I wanted to fund someone on the spot so I pulled out. No idea whose cash it was though”

Balaji: “It cannot be all those Internet idiots. The numbers are just too high. I was so confused I carried the wrong deck to Startup school.”

Rick Falkvinge: “Chamath, that was me. My life savings is into this thing again this week”

Naval: “Cool. Let’s get back to the agenda folks. Fred, did you want to introduce the west coast folks?”

Fred: “Sure. We have Tom from Poker Capital and Matt from Somehow Ventures. Tom – did you want to say a couple of lines”

Tom: “Thanks Fred. Hello everyone, Tom from Poker. Into coins for about four years now, picked it up from SatoshiDice basically. About 4 percent of the economy. Same pattern as most VCs I guess – invested personal money into coins and fund money into coin startups. Glad to be here. Looking forward to loads of fun!”

Fred: “Thanks Tom. Matt, did you want to go next”

Matt: “Thanks Fred. Matt from Somehow. Got pulled into this stuff when I heard of the 100x returns thing. 3 percent of the economy. Glad to be here”

Fred: “Okay folks. I will make this quick – I need to jump onto another call. Let’s keep it at 220-230. Unless the Russian folks come in this week. Does everyone agree?”

[Some ‘yep’s]

Fred: “Cool. Thanks everyone. Chamath – its your turn next week. See you all.”

[beeps – folks leaving the call]